Friday, October 30, 2009

Waste of a Life

How does someone get so low that they take their own life? I would know about being low. I suffer with depression. It's not an easy thing to deal with. When people tell me that I am just having a "bad day," they don't know what they are talking about. When I am depressed, I don't care about anything around me. I don't care if I miss class or work. I often get low and think about taking my life. People need to be more sensitive around others with these types of disorders and take them seriously, because a bad day is not just a "bad day." These people are not freaks either; they are just like anyone else with a disability. I am not a bad person because I am this way. My mind is my enemy. How I feel at the time is determined by what my brain tells me. But I have the one thing that can overcome my mind, Christ. My Spirit strengthens me to overcome. But there still are times when...

I can't believe he took his life. I can't and yet I can. God gives us a choice. We can chose life, or we can chose death. Even at our worst moments in time, He always gives us a way out. When I am at rock bottom with my life, (with depression that is often) I still think of God. I may wonder where he is or even curse, but I still think of him. Some people don't even know about Him. In this case, they don't see a way out; they don't have hope because hope is in God.

Why did he do it? This moment in my life will forever be imprinted in my mind. That phone call was scary. She blames herself for him taking his life. Shame on satan; he already lost. Sadness, selfishness, anger, pain... this world increases in these qualities. This person was searching for happiness in the world instead of turning towards the one who loves him the most. This world does not offer a permanent happiness; gaining happiness in it is like chasing the wind.

Please STOP the hatred and meanness towards others. Words do hurt.

I've become speechless.

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